


How to drive a demon up a wall - a story in 5(+1) parts by A.Z. Fell or 5 times Aziraphale is being a little shit to Crowley and one time it’s the other way around

by space_ally



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Dining at the Ritz (Good Omens), Established Relationship, Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Mocking, Sarcasm, Sweet, honestly, provocative angel, soft, zira is being a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 07:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21133115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_ally/pseuds/space_ally
Summary: There’s nothing quite like riling up a demon by embarrassing him in public. In the most loving manner, naturally. Aziraphale had that figured out pretty quickly.





	How to drive a demon up a wall - a story in 5(+1) parts by A.Z. Fell or 5 times Aziraphale is being a little shit to Crowley and one time it’s the other way around

**Author's Note:**

> Beta’d by The Archangel Fucking Gabriel/the amazing ClassicHazel (Ao3) thank you so much.

(1)

Crowley paid for the two cups of tea, grabbing them and shoving one of them towards the angel standing in the queue behind him. 

“Keep the change,” he told the cashier, whose eyes lit up. “Thank you so much! Have a nice day!” 

Crowley waved it off. “Yeah, you too...”

“_ I’m _ a demon, _ I’m _not nice,” Aziraphale mocked the demon, his face twisting in amusement. 

“What did you just say?” Crowley asked, making his way out of the small coffee shop. 

“Oh, nothing, dear. Nothing. Thanks for the tea.”

Crowley just grumbled in response. 

(2)

Crowley leaned against the glass door of the cinema, keeping it open, continuing his rant about how predictable the film they’d seen was, how you could immediately tell who the killer was, when an elderly woman walked through the door and stopped in front of him. 

“Oh, thank you so much for holding the door open, bless you, you really are a kind man.”

The demon stopped talking, dumbstruck, cheeks reddening. He awkwardly cleared his throat before he replied, “Uhm. You’re welcome. It’s no big deal, really.”

The woman smiled at him gratefully and continued making her way towards the box office, while Crowley tried to process what had happened.

“_ I’m _ unforgivable, that’s what _ I _am,” Aziraphale mocked, too soft for the demon to actually understand what he was saying.

“Sorry, what?” he asked, more of a reflex than an actual question. 

“Nothing, love. Let’s go home, shall we?”

Aziraphale took his arm and led him outside, through the cinema doors. 

(3)

Aziraphale looked up from his book when he saw his angel wing mug being held in front of his face by Crowley. The angel raised his eyebrows questioningly. 

“I got you cocoa,” the demon replied. A small smile curled at Aziraphale’s lips and made Crowley blush. “You don’t have to take it.”

“Oh, how could I not? Thank you, dear, thank you so much,” Aziraphale said, putting his book aside safely and taking the mug from him. 

“Oh, shut it.” Another dismissive hand wave. 

“You seem so uncomfortable receiving thanks! But you are so considerate today, my dear. So _ thank you _,” the angel teased. 

Crowley was too riled up to notice. “I said it’s alright, stop it!” he answered, before turning on the spot and running off, back to the kitchen. Aziraphale snickered, before he took a sip of his cocoa. 

(4)

“I know exactly what you’re doing!” Crowley hissed, setting down his glass of wine more forcefully than necessary. 

Aziraphale stopped drawing invisible patterns on Crowley’s thigh and tried to keep a straight face as he asked, “What exactly am I doing, dear?”

“You’re taking forever to finish your food in the hope of being able to say you’re too tired when we get home to watch the film I’ve chosen.”

Aziraphale laughed out loud, not expecting that answer at all. He resumed his touches and leaned closer towards the demon. 

“Is that so?” the blond asked, lips dangerously close to Crowley’s ear. 

Crowley cleared his throat and brought some more room between them.“Y-yes. Do I have to remind you that we’re in public, angel?”

Aziraphale smirked and slid his thumb across Crowley’s bottom lip. 

“Just getting rid of the wine traces, though... I’ve got to say, that red is a fantastic colour on you.”

Crowley wasn’t sure if his heart skipped a beat or stopped completely. His breath caught in his throat. “Angel”, the demon growled, dangerously low. 

Aziraphale stopped staring at the demon’s lips and wet his own with his tongue, before giving Crowley a light pat on the cheek and sitting back in his chair, as if nothing had happened. 

Crowley was a blushing mess, staring at Aziraphale in disbelief.

“Come on, hurry up, dear. We don’t want to be home too late, you wanted to show me that film, remember?” the angel said in the most cheery, unbothered voice ever heard. 

Crowley downed what was left of his wine and continued to shake his head. “Wouldn’t want to miss the film,” he whispered to himself, as Aziraphale resumed eating, a content smile on his face.

(5)

“Angel, what in Satan’s name is _ that _?”

Aziraphale stopped sorting books to look at the demon, who had just appeared in the door frame. 

“A book?” he answered innocently, and put said book away. 

“You know full well what I’m talking about,” the demon replied, strutting closer. “Where did you get that?”

Aziraphale stepped down from the ladder he was stood on and turned around to face the demon. “Your shirt? From your wardrobe, of course, what kind of silly question is that?”

Crowley came closer and tugged lightly on the black shirt. 

“You’re telling me you took a shirt from me, but completely forgot the trousers?”

Aziraphale nodded solemnly. 

“And you even managed to find boxers that say ‘SIN’ on the arse. In my closet. Are you trying to tell me _ they _are mine, as well?”

Another nod from Aziraphale. “Of course, my dear, do you honestly think I would own clothing like this?”

Crowley sent an ‘_ Oh Lord, why are you testing me like this? _’ downwards, before he started unbuttoning the shirt.

“What are you doing, dear?” the angel asked, back still pressed against the bookshelf.

“Just taking back what’s mine,” the demon replied, completely focused on his task. 

“You can’t just undress people like that, Crowley, it’s the middle of the day, what if someone were to come in?”

Crowley snapped his finger and the ‘OPEN’ sign on the bookshop door turned to ‘WE’RE SORRY WE’RE CLOSED’. 

Aziraphale swatted Crowley’s hands away from the remaining buttons and the demon stared at him in disbelief. 

“I have a business to run, my dear,” the angel said simply, and gave him another pat on the cheek, then left him standing there. 

“Not dressed like this, you don’t!” Crowley called after him.

Crowley swore that scoundrel definitely sauntered back to the front room. 

(+1)

Crowley’s arms were crossed over his chest. His hair reached down almost all the way to his hips; soft waves swept to the left side of his face, neatly tied away with a black rose on the right. He was wearing a floor length tight black dress and heels to die for. Literally. Aziraphale was convinced Crowley would die if he over fell in them. 

The angel took a deep breath. “Do you have plans, dear?” he asked the demon, while locking up the bookshop. 

Crowley watched him, not taking his eyes off him. 

Aziraphale flipped the sign in the window. When he turned back round, the lights were out, candles lit up the room, music was playing softly in the background and Crowley was holding two glasses of wine. 

“Perhaps I do,” the demon replied and shuffled closer, putting one of the wine glasses in the angel’s hands. 

“Cheers,” Aziraphale murmured into his glass. His hands were shaking slightly when their glasses clinked. Crowley took the angel’s glass from him and set it down on a nearby table, before he pulled him closer and started rocking them both to the rhythm of the music. 

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, angel.”

Aziraphale gulped. “You look breathtaking, my dear.”

Crowley smiled and twirled them around. “You thought I wouldn’t notice, didn’t you? The mocking. The _ teasing _. The flirting. In public... Heaven, angel, do you have no shame?”

Aziraphale blushed and almost stumbled over his own feet. “I wasn’t-”

Crowley shushed him. “And that outfit, just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing...”

Aziraphale avoided the demon’s looks, until Crowley lifted his chin with one of his hands. 

“You had your fun, didn’t you?” Crowley asked, as the mischievous twinkle returned to Aziraphale’s eyes. He was definitely taken by surprise when the angel slammed him into a bookshelf, definitely knocking over some books. One of them landed at their feet, but neither of them paid attention. 

“You like it, though. Being teased like that.”

Crowley laughed, but the laugh turned into a gasp when he felt Aziraphale’s lips on his neck. 

“What are you doing, angel?”, the demon asked, innocently. 

“Finishing your terrible attempt at seduction for you,” the angel whispered into Crowley’s ear, biting his earlobe. A tiny giggle escaped from Crowley. 

“_ I’m so sorry, I have a business to run, my dear _”, the demon answered, mockingly, and made an attempt to break free from the angel. 

“Not dressed like this, you don’t!” Aziraphale quoted him and stopped whatever playful protest Crowley might come up with by silencing him with a kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> So The Ineffable Con is officially over, huh? Feels weird being back home, being able to get a proper amount of sleep and not dressing up as Crowley every day. What an insane experience.
> 
> Huge thanks go to Rachael and Tracionn for the organisation of these three (or 4 for some people) days filled with fun, fandom and sleep deprivation that I am so glad to have been part of. 
> 
> Another thank you goes out to the wonderful El(ziraphale) for not only putting the Zine together but also being the positive, amazing human she is.
> 
> Incredibly grateful to have had the opportunity to meet all the fantastic people who attended the Con, you guys rock.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos make my day, if you're looking for more of my writing, check out my other fics and you can always yell at/with me on twitter (@ajayalive). I'm always here for discussing ineffable idiots. Or Shakespeare.
> 
> AJ


End file.
